I Lack

I’m not the person I want to be. Three weeks in and while getting to know this country and the people who live here remains a great joy, each day I become more and more aware that I am so lacking. I lack language. I lack cultural understanding. I lack the ability to solve problems without confronting it head on (major no no here). I lack strength in the heat of the day. I lack motivation. I lack patience. I lack, I lack, I lack.

Rich, who lives and works with the Moi tribe in the island’s interior along with his wife Karen and three daughters, told us, “Learning the language and culture is hard. That’s why not many people do it. If you can do it you will be so glad you did.”

I step forward. Speaking and writing simple sentences in Indonesian. Reaching out for friendships. Listening, observing, writing, and contemplating all that happens around and to me.

Still, I lack. The awareness of how little I know and can contribute pushes me daily to prayer and I bury myself in the scriptures.

“For consider your calling, that not many were wise, not many were mighty, not many noble, but God chose the foolish things…, the weak things…”

I lack, but I am loved and strengthened by a most gracious God who chose me in all my foolishness and weakness. I lack, yet I stand firm. Held steady by love and grace.