One Question: Advice on Serving in Mexico

Recently, I wrote to many friends who are nationals of countries that receive missionaries. All of these friends have worked with westerners and many of them have served as missionaries themselves. I asked my friends to respond to one question, “What advice would you give a western missionary coming to serve in your country?” 

So far we've heard from Kae from Malaysia, Sugi from Java, Indonesia and Soro here in Papua. If you missed any you can read Sugi's letter here , Soro's letter here and Kae's letter here. 

Advice from Jonas and Bet on serving in Mexico

Intro: I met Jonas and Bet at Elim Bible Institute in New York. They lived in the apartment below us and were both graduates of the school from Mexico. Teaching Spanish and serving in one of the local churches, Jonas and Bet have two very practical tips for missionaries coming to Mexico.

Q: What advice would you give a missionary coming to serve in Mexico?

1) Beware of your body language.  

When ministering in other cultures, people probably will not understand your native language (specially when you talk in other language in front of them) but body language is almost internationally understood. 

If there is an issue with someone in your team, or you feel frustrated with the situation, try as much as possible to address the issue privately. Even when people don't understand what is being said, they may perceive you as an angry person and loose the confidence to approach you (or trust you) so I guess the title for this first thought could be "Beware of body language and tone of voice"

2) Probably very obvious but could be tricky... "Learn the language"

 

I am sure missionaries all over the world want to learn the language of the people they are ministering to. But I've known many people that will not speak another language until they feel confident to do so without mistakes.

The thing is that by being willing to use (speak) the tiny little bit of language you know people perceive you as open, vulnerable, humble, approachable and must important of all without pride (arrogance) which is a very common perception of third world countries about Americans.

 

So I would encourage all missionaries to use the language they are learning, even if it's not perfect. A great thing that opens doors is to be willing even to tell people to feel free to correct you as you speak. They will feel more confident around you and will want to spend time with you.

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This is the last scheduled post in the One Question Series for now. I hope you enjoyed it and look forward to sharing more one question interviews in the future.

Grief in a New Culture

So many things are different here, even grief.

This past Wednesday Isaiah and I joined the Ibadah Keluarga, a bible study for families held weekly in homes. Ben usually joins as well, but this week he stayed behind to supervise repairs to our a/c unit.

Isaiah praying at the Children's Ibadah

Everything at Ibadah was much the same as it always is. Friends gathered, husbands, wives, children in tow, grandmas and grandpas, aunties and uncles. We crowded together in the livingroom and even spilled out onto the porch.

We sang, prayed, and listened as families shared about their week. So and so is graduating school, so and so has malaria, so and so is looking for work.

We've forged many friendships through attending Ibadahs. This week, like all the others, sitting close together, worshipping together, I couldn't feel more at home.

Children run in and out of the house. Someone stands in the open front door and shares scripture and what it means to them. We sing and pray again. Afterwards we shake hands, fill plates with Indonesian and Papuan food and sit down together to talk and laugh.

Time to go and I thank the family for opening their home. "Terima kasih, Bapa." I tell Bapa Alex, shaking his hand, and head home.

The next morning via text message we received word that Bapa Alex had a heart attack and died just a few hours after we left. An Ibadah Penguatan, a "Strengthening Devotion" would be held that evening at the family's home.

I didn't know Bapa Alex personally and this week was the first time I had been to his home. Still, his sudden death shakes me. This family was one of the first to start the GKII denomination church here in Sentani. We attend one of the church plants that grew out of this family's work in the town. He and his family are well known and loved by many in Sentani.

With Bapa Alex's passing, I realised I have no idea how to grieve in a new culture. The idea of a church service held in the home immediately after a death is very new to me. Friends have talked about how important specific number of days after the death are. The third day and the fortieth day being the most important, and how friends and family interact on those days.

Although the 'how' of grief may be different, the heart of grief remains the same. A beloved father and mentor is gone. He will be sorely missed by the community he loved and served. I am glad to have had the opportunity to shake his hand on this side of eternity.

Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:8

This week at Velvet Ashes others are sharing their stories of grief as well.

One Question: Advice on Serving in Malaysia

Recently, I wrote to many friends who are nationals of countries that receive missionaries. All of these friends have worked with westerners and many of them have served as missionaries themselves. I asked my friends to respond to one question, “What advice would you give a western missionary coming to serve in your country?” 

Every Monday, internet access permitting, I post their responses. Last week we heard from Sugi from Java, Indonesia and the week before from Soro here in Papua. If you missed it, you can read Sugi's letter here and Soro's letter here.

 Advice from Kae on serving in Malaysia

Bio: A Malaysian growing up in multicultural but still very Eastern cultured Malaysia, Kae first met the ‘West’ in her late teens at university in England. She later married a western culture French husband, and the two encountered many cultural clashes at the beginning. She describes finally coming to the understanding that their actions weren’t just about individual personalities, but also a reflection of each other’s culture. 

Kae describes her family life as “a bright and noisy space, and with our bicultural or third culture kids, I can say the journey has been exhilarating, excruciating, enriching.” Kae highly recommends the book Foreign to Familiar for anyone interested in better understanding how to navigate cross-cultural relationships.

Q: What advice would you give to a western missionary coming to serve in Malaysia?

I think one main difference is perhaps where the west values efficiency, or goals and objectives achieved, the east values RELATIONSHIPS, or networks and contacts made. So I spend and value my time differently: for me every moment I spend chatting and eating with someone is as valuable if not more, as every moment a westerner may spend doing something else to achieve a goal. 

I hope a western missionary will learn to appreciate the importance "easterners" attach to dialogue, communication, building relationships. I hope you will then find less frustration in how long it takes to get things done. Things will get done when the groundwork is laid, when friendships are made, but first, let's go and have a cup of tea, get to know you and get to know me! 

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What about you? Are you from a country that typically receives western missionaries and charity workers? What are we doing wrong? What are we doing right? E-mail me your thoughts on anisha@benhop.co.uk

  

3 Months In: Photo Favorites

Hard to believe it's been more than 3 months since we arrived in Papua. I feel like we've both lived here an eternity and just arrived yesterday. So to commemorate the last few wild months, here are my favorite moments in photos...
 

Best buds Isaiah and Andi playing in the rain.

Travelling the world with this guy.

Ben's flight to the villages and realising how truly important helicopters are in providing physical and spiritual help to very remote and isolated communities. Video of the flight here.

These three wonderfuls

Beach day in this tropical paradise

See what I mean? Tropical Paradise!

Friends showing us around our new town

Praying at the children's Ibadah

Our smart, funny, sweet, strong, handsome Isaiah!

Juicing fruit from the market

Before the puppies were stolen

Introducing friends to British Pancakes

Scatter coming home

Birthday Parties with wall to wall children

 There you have it, my favorites! Wonder what the next three months will bring?

Peace, Where Are You?

Sometimes what I want, isn't what I actually need. I don't mean that in a I need to eat more veg, but I'd rather eat cake sort of way. I mean it in a I want my independence, abilities, and my being right, dang it! When what I really need is to let that all go.

I need to let it go because while my sense of independence pushes me to achieve, it also pushes me to do so at the expense of relationships.

I need to let it go because while my abilities push me to succeed, they also push me into pride.

I need to let it go because while I may be right, that actually isn't the most important thing.

I need to let it all go because what I really need, more than anything, is peace. Oh my word do I need peace.

I am exhausted, but I don't want to stop. I need peace, but what about all of this other stuff? It's near 11pm and instead of getting ready for a peaceful night sleep, I am writing about the very thing that I need because the train inside my head just won't stop.

Peace, where are you?

Tonight, I'm choosing to let it all go. The train inside my head might just keep running, but I'm choosing to say goodbye to myself and to selfishness and make room for peace. Choosing to turn off the computer, let go of expectations, and fall asleep wrapping my heart around the One who not only promised relief for the weary, but is relief itself.

So good night, friends. Peace is waiting.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” - Jesus

Matthew 11:28-30

One Question: Advice from Java, Indonesia

Recently, I wrote to many friends who are nationals of countries that receive missionaries. All of these friends have worked with westerners and many of them have served as missionaries themselves. I asked my friends to respond to one question, “What advice would you give a western missionary coming to serve in your country?” 

Every Monday, internet access permitting, I post their responses. Last week we heard from Soro here in Papua. If you missed it, you can read Soro's letter here.

 

Advice from Sugi on serving in Java, Indonesia

Bio: Sugi, together with his wife Elva, serve with Youth with a Mission (YWAM) in Taiwan. Sugi and Elva travel throughout South East Asia working alongside local churches to provide in depth bible teaching to local pastors, church workers, and Christian fellowships. You can read more about the ministry of YWAM here: http://www.ywamtaipei.com/    

Q: What advice would you give to a western missionary coming to serve in Indonesia? 

I think this is not a simple question to answer, because the culture in Indonesia is really diverse. You live and serve among the people of Papua, which I don't really understand their culture. Honestly in my thought Papua still mostly jungle, people eat sagu (papeda), and eat silk worm. While I grew up eat rice as my main staple, from Chinese descendant, went to Catholic school from kindergarten up to high school in the Island of Java which predominantly Muslim.

I've met YWAMers from Papua in 2012 during National staff conference in Makassar (South Sulawesi) and I feel there are many things I need to know and learn from their culture. We might speak the same language though honestly I found it not easy to understand their Bahasa.

If one day I have the opportunity to visit and stay in Papua I would (and this could be my advice to westerners too):

·         Learn their language. Because when you learn their language, you learn their culture. 

·         Easterner mostly don't speak what in their mind, need to understand what we try to say between the lines. I sometimes find it hard to understand it too. Often I will rephrase what someone is trying to say just to make sure I understand what they are saying or if that's really what they mean to say. 

·         Don't be afraid to make mistakes (because you will) and learn from your mistakes. Better to learn from someone else's mistakes. Less painful. 

·         Can't learn anyone’s culture in a day, or a month. It takes sometime; so give yourselves some grace.

 

·         Watch and learn from the locals, don't be embarrassed to ask and learn. In general, I believe Indonesia is really hospitable.

What about you? Are you from a country that typically receives western missionaries and charity workers? What are we doing wrong? What are we doing right? E-mail me your thoughts on anisha@benhop.co.uk

Health or Hospitality?

Stateside, if you came to visit my home I'd cook you one of my favorites, a special version of flat iron steak fajitas.

I'd marinate the steak in Dr Pepper first, then massage in a rub of brown sugar, kosher salt, and fresh cracked black pepper, then pan fry it leaving a juicy red center. I'd cut it thin across the grain and serve over warm and lightly toasted corn torillas spread with a smooth and tart goat cheese. Garnish that goodness with a sweet and tangy red bell pepper and cilantro coleslaw and serve with a bottle of cold beer or cider or Dr Pepper if you don't drink.

I'd watch you take your first mouthful. And when you look up at me and I can see in your eyes how you've never had fajitas quite like this before and with a full mouth you manage a, "Wow! This is really good! How did you learn to make this?" I'll start to tell you about Texas. 

If you don't like red meat, or perhaps you don't eat it for health or personal conviction, you are still welcome at my table. I'll respect that you don't eat red meat and make you my favorite oven baked macaroni or homemade pizza instead. It'll be good. I'll be pleased you like it and we'll have a nice time together. But I probably won't tell you about Texas.

I won't tell you about how beef in Texas is more about culture than it is about dinner. I won't tell you about Go Texan Day or the world's largest rodeo or wagon trail rides from hundreds of miles away or my Grandfather's mouthwatering steaks or Christmas brisket.

It's not that I won't share on purpose, it would just be weird if as you took your first mouthful of ham and pineapple pizza I started in with, "Let me tell you about beef in Texas."

We can still be friends, even good friends. I won't hold your beef aversion against you, but the truth is you've missed learning about a part of who I am.

It's the same here in Papua. When I eat Ubi, friends tell me about their farming community in the mountains. When I eat Ikan Bakar, friends tell me about their fishing community with houses built over lakes with stilts made of a special kind of wood so they don't rot in the water. Whatever I eat, whenever we share a meal, they in turn share stories about their culture and history.

I won't give up these special moments lightly. I don't want to ever give them up. 

So when I'm sick again with some bacteria that feels like it's ripping my stomach to pieces and I can't eat for days, what am I to do? What do I do when the nurse tells me the reason I am so sick again is that I'm getting into some dicey food?

Do I choose my health or do I choose my friend's hospitality?

Maybe not forever but at least for today, as my stomach heals from yet another bout of the bacteria onslaught, I'm still choosing hospitality.

Perhaps it's foolish. "They'll still like you even if you don't eat their food and they certainly won't want you to be sick because of it", you'll say to me. I know that's true.

I also know what I'll miss when I say, "Sorry. I can't eat that." And I'm not yet willing to miss it.


So you don't think I'm too foolhardy, here's what we've come up with as a plan. It's not much, but hopefully it will help:
Increasing hand washing.
Using an antibacterial hand sanitizer before I eat.
Using a spoon or fork instead of my hands as much as possible. 
Yep, that's it. So if you have suggestions feel free share them!

Hey! This post is a link up with Velvet Ashes where others are sharing their perspectives on hospitality this week too.

Food from Padang, some of my favorites.

One Question: Advice from Papua, Indonesia

In my last journal entry, I wrote about the ups and downs of adjusting to a new culture and life in Papua. In my list of 10 things, two of the positive aspects of living in Papua were the gains of having local friends who encourage and advise. 

Papuan and Indonesian friends have a lot to say about how western missionaries should behave and serve their country. So they should. Over the last three months we have learned a great deal from these friends, lessons that I could not have learned so effectively any other way.

Recently, I wrote to many friends who are nationals of countries that receive missionaries. All of these friends have worked with westerners and many of them have served as missionaries themselves. I asked my friends to respond to one question, 

“What advice would you give a western missionary coming to serve in your country?” 

Every Monday, internet access permitting, I’ll post their responses. Today we’ll start here in Papua with my friend Soro. Soro was our first language teacher and is on his way to Australia to complete his master’s degree. 

Advice from Soro in Papua, Indonesia

“Papua land is a small heaven which fell to the earth” this is a sentence of a song named “I am Papuan” it shows how Papuans so proud about their given island and everything consist in, such as, natural resources, beautiful views, multiple cultures and the creatures live in.

West Papua is a good place. However until today, many of areas in Papua still need special intentions because of the limitation of the access of some crucial sectors. This is one of the reasons why Papua needs those who come to serve with heart and strong willingness because of the challenges that they will face.

I know what is missionary when I was child, because missionary have brought Papua into a better civilization and close to Jesus. Until today missionary is still needed in West Papua, because West Papua needs those who work with heart and love.

Missionary are good people, and good people are mirror. People want to see if they look nice or not by facing a mirror, good people are candle, people put them on the high place so they can give the light for everyone. 

Jesus blesses all of us.

What have I learned from Soro?

• Papuans are very proud of their island. I must respect and honor their home.
•  Papuans recognise there will be challenges for western missionaries and aren't interested in flaky service. Those who come to serve must have a strong willingness to stay despite the difficulties.
• Above all, I must serve with genuine love. My life is a mirror to those around me. What kind of life am I living? Am I an example of genuine love, or caught up in my own service and thinking?

 I have much to learn, but with the help of local friends, I will do it.

What about you? Are you from a country that typically receives western missionaries and charity workers? What are we doing wrong? What are we doing right? E-mail me your thoughts on anisha@benhop.co.uk